So Who Wins - The Any Character in the World Battles

TACWB

20. Captain America vs. Bullseye

They both throw things and almost never miss. Hmmm maybe we should have them play horseshoes instead?

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Fighters

Captain America                                                                                                    Bullseye

                                                                

Set-Up

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New York- "Bullseye," said the deep rumbling voice of the Kingpin. "Your record for always making your kill is outstanding, with the exception of Daredevil... and Elektra... the only one's I really care about". Kingpin took a sip of his coffee, "I want you to do me a favor"

"Will I still be paid?" asked Bullseye in his usual lazy uncaring voice

"Let me rephrase. I have a job for you." answered Kingpin

"Then you have a deal"

"You haven't heard what the job is yet."

"You said yourself that I am good at what I do. What ever you have for me, I think I can handle."

"Maybe not this one. I want you to 'take care' of a man, not just any man. A man you know, Captain America. By 'take care' of him, I don't mean it in the usual sense Bullseye. I mean knock him out, and bring him to me to deal with."

"You know that's not how I roll." replied Bullseye, a little skepticism in his voice.

"I think you are up to the challenge besides, you already agreed"

"Fine where can I find this Captain America?"

"He is in town, on his way to Gotham, on a S.H.I.E.L.D. mission"

"He wont make it out of town"

"He better not Bullseye, he better not."

On the main streets of Queens-

The wind whistles as Captain America zooms through the streets of Queens on his motorcycle. He was going faster than he should, but he was on a mission for S.H.I.E.L.D. and S.H.I.E.L.D. was far beyond the government. I don't think the police would mind me putting an end to the threat that Gotham faces every day, this one called... the Batman thought Captain America. It appears that I'm being followed . Captain America sees through the side mirror of his motorcycle that another motorcycle was behind him, and gaining. I must be going 90! how fast is this guy going? asked Captain America of himself I don't think he's in that much of a hurry, he must be after me!

Bullseye, half a block away from Captain America, and gaining rapidly sees an opportunity to take down Captain America quickly. Bullseye reaches into his inside jacket pocket and pulls out 2 darts.

"Say goodnight" said Bullseye to himself. And he throws the darts.

Captain America seeing this with his superhuman fast reflexes does a backwards flip off of the motorcycle, and up into the air. The darts hit the back tire of the motorcycle and the motorcycle does its own back flip, causing it to skid across the intersection, and start on fire. Captain America lands on his feet. That was close he says to him self. However, Bullseye was right behind him on his motorcycle zooming right at him. Captain America thought fast, stepped to the side, and close lined Bullseye right off the motorcycle, which continues to coast until it hits Captain America's motorcycle, stops, and falls over. Bullseye gets to his feet. "Kingpin told me not to kill you, " said Bullseye, "But he never said I couldn't break every bone in your body!"

So, who wins? The man who throws his shield and it always, I mean always comes back, or the man who throws everything, and never, I mean never misses?

Commentators

Red Skull                                                                                                                                             Elektra

                                                                                                                                                                               

Commentary

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Red Skull: Oh, Elektra I'm glad your here. I have a uh person that needs to be uh "taken care of". But I don't trust my own men to do it.

Elektra: Well personally I don't usually go for jobs that I find while doing other jobs, but what do you have in mind?

Red Skull: Well I would like you to "take care of" the Chancellor of Germany, so I can become ruler and well... you know...do ruler things.

Elektra: Like measure stuff (with a smirk)

Red Skull: No like blow crap up, or go to war, or go to war and blow crap up. I would do it for Germany.

Elektra: (mock singing) "Springtime for Red Skull and Germany" *

Red Skull: That movie should be banned from Blockbuster. **

Elektra: Well I think its time that we get on with the fight

Red Skull: Yes enough making fun of my homeland.

Elektra: (whisper singing) "Springtime for Red Skull and Germany"

Red Skull: I'm sorry, what did you say?

Elektra: I said....that its time for...Red Skull and I ....to stop talking about Germany

Red Skull: I just said that!

Elektra: I know, but no one listens to you. Anyway to the fight.

Red Skull: Bullseye sneers, pulls out one dart and throws it at Captain America.

Elektra: I don't think that was worth it as Captain America blocks it with a simple move of his shield.

Red Skull: Bullseye not too upset as technically he didn't miss, just was blocked, tries something a little more fancy.

Elektra: Bullseye pulls out a good deal more than one dart and throws them, this time he runs forwards after throwing.

Red Skull: Captain America blocks the darts just in time to see Bullseye coming at him. Okay seriously who does this clown think he is? If I "the Red Skull" cant take Captain America hand-to-hand there is no way
he can.

Elektra: Well I guess we won't have to see, After Captain America sees Bullseye coming at him, he blocks him with his shield. Bullseye goes for Cap. again and Cap. hits him with his shield causing Bullseye to be thrown backwards.

Red Skull: Bullseye straightens up, cracks his neck and pulls out a deck of ordinary playing cards.

Elektra: Those may be ordinary playing cards, but just watch as Bullseye turns them from ordinary to extraordinary.

Red Skull: Bullseye starts flicking them at Captain America one right after another, each aimed I'm sure at a separate muscular junction or major artery.

Elektra: But unfortunately for Bullseye Captain America blocks every one of them with his shield, well the super soldier serum worked wonders on his reflexes, he's like a machine.

Red Skull: Who told you about the machines?

Elektra: It's Captain Americas turn to be on offense now. He throws this shield and Bullseye dodges it with ease.

Red Skull: Bullseye smirks and pulls out some more darts, but not so fast Bullseye.

Elektra: Captain America's shield hit the side of a nearby building, ricochets off and hits Bullseye right in the back of the head.

Red Skull: And of course Captain America threw it just right so that the blunt side of his shield hit Bullseye leaving no casualties.

Elektra: Well I guess Captain America wins.

Red Skull: Of coarse he won and I'm glad he did, now I'm going to go and begin the first stages of my plan to kill Captain America.


Captain America defeats Bullseye 9 votes to 4

* From the Producers, its a musical...made in 2005....oh come on it was a great movie....with Mathew Broderic and Nathan Lane... both from the Lion King....and Uma Thurman...ok there you go!

** I'm not implying that The Producers wasn't a good movie, in fact its one of my favorites.

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Disclaimer

Belong to Marvel Comics:

  • Captain America
  • Bullseye
  • Kingpin
  • Daredevil
  • Elektra
  • S.H.I.E.L.D.
  • Red Skull
  • Super Soldier Serum

Belong to DC Comics:

  • Gotham City
  • Batman