So Who Wins - The Any Character in the World Battles

TACWB

35. Sabrina vs, Elphaba

Both have split parentage, one of them from earth, and they just happen to be witches. Let the spell casting begin!

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Fighters

Sabrina                                                                                                                                Elphaba

                                                                               

Set-Up

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It was a Saturday morning, Sabrina was making breakfast, Zelda was reading the mortal newspaper, and Salem was sitting on the counter practically purring in anticipation of bacon. Suddenly Hilda comes into the room looking irritated.

"Whats wrong Hilda?" asks Zelda.

"Willard and I are going to a wrestling match later, but I have nothing to wear." Hilda answered sadly.

"What about that red out-fit that you like?"

"I would, but if you remember, about 200 years ago I left the only matching red shoes in the Other-Other-Realm."

"HILDA, you were told never to talk about... that... especially around Sabrina"

"Whoa, wait, an Other-Other Realm?" Sabrina asks amazed.

"... Well, yes," Zelda answered "but witches were banned from going there after Hilda miss-cast a spell making all the locals shorter...ever since then the people of that realm have despised witches, and condemn them to death, along with celebrating their demise with song and dance."

"well I think that if Hilda needs those shoes for her date, " Sabrina said conveniently "I guess all there is for me to do is go and get them."

"NO, you can't, if you go there and you are found out to be a witch, you will surely be killed"

"Don't worry aunt Zelda, I think I can handle myself...so where is the portal to this Other-Other-Realm?"

"Through the hamper, next to the closet."

"Oh...Ok.. well that makes sense."

"Oh I must warn you" Hilda adds as Sabrina climbs into the hamper "The Shoes are encrusted with rubies; if they were found by anyone, they would be a prized possession."

"So, If someone owns them you want me to come back without them?"

"Heck no, you rip them from their cold dead feet if you have to!"

Winkie Castle no. 503 presently home to Elphaba aka Wicked Witch of the West:

Elphaba had just spoken to Dorothy and told her that her life would end when the sand in the hour-glass ran out. After entering her sitting room, the grandfather clock opened and out hopped Sabrina.

"That was weird...whoa"

"Sorry you take personal offense to my green skin," Elphaba remarks sarcastically "but I was born this way"3

"...um..are you... a witch?" Sabrina asked timidly.

"Yes, I am, and you just barged into my living room, while I am in a bad mood"

"I'm just looking for my aunts ruby slippers."

"RUBY SLIPPERS! THOSE SLIPPERS BELONG TO ME, THEY WERE MY MOTHERS, THEN THEY WERE MY SISTERS, AND NOW THEY WILL BE MINE!"

"Well before they belonged to your mother, they belonged to my aunt, and she wants them back."

"WELL YOU CANT HAVE THEM!"

"I'm not leaving here until I have them"

"IF YOU THINK YOU CAN GET THEM OFF OF THE WRETCHED GIRL YOU CAN HAVE THEM, BUT YOU'LL HAVE TO GET THROUGH ME FIRST!"

So who wins? The Wicked Witch of the West? or The Witch of Wicked West Bridge?

Commentators

Salem Saberhagen                                                                                                                Cowardly Lion                                         

The image “http://i42.photobucket.com/albums/e350/ladysazz/SALEM.jpg” cannot be displayed, because it contains errors.                                                                

Commentary

(Top)

Salem: Sabrina and Elphaba are squared off, it seems that Sabrina can’t help but get into fights with witches lately.

Cowardly Lion
: Everyone’s trouble to the Wicked Witch of the West.

Salem
: Who now?

Cowardly Lion
: (sigh) Elphaba, and the Wicked Witch of the West is the same person.

Salem
: Isn’t Elphaba easier to say?

Cowardly Lion
: Yeah, but when writing songs about her, the Wicked Witch of the West seemed to fit better.

Salem
: I see. Well I’m gonna call her Elphaba.

Cowardly Lion
: Then just to avoid confusion I will too.

Salem
: Oh, Elphaba takes to the air on her broom, she’s really defying gravity* now!

Cowardly Lion
: Yeah…I guess. Ok, Elphaba shoots a fire ball at Sabrina.

Sabrina
: Help me defend, from this wicked flier. Just make me, impervious to fire!

Salem
: Elphaba’s spell bounces off of Sabrina. Wow, it’s amazing how Sabrina was able to make up and say a spell in the time that the fire ball was flying at her. Oh, well.

Cowardly Lion
: Elphaba in a rage, grabs the handle of her broom, and swings the brush part over her head and down to the ground.

Salem
: Sabrina rolls out of the way, and Elphaba stands up.

Cowardly Lion
: Sabrina seems to be thinking, and Elphaba brandishes her broom like a sword, obviously egging Sabrina on.

Sabrina
: This enemy witch, I must subdue. Make her still, as a statue.

Salem
: Elphaba freezes in her place. And Sabina disappears into a near-by hallway.

Cowardly Lion
: Well it seems we have a winner.

Salem
: That’s right, Sabrina wins!


Sabrina defeats Elphaba 10 votes to 8



*Defying Gravity is the name of a song in the Broadway Musical Wicked

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Disclaimer

Belong to Archie Comics:

  • Sabrina Spellman
  • Zelda Spellman
  • Salem Saberhagen
  • Hilda Spellman

 Belong to The CBS Corporation:

  • Willard Kraft
  • West Bridge

Public Domain:

  • Wicked Witch of the West
  • Dorothy Gale
  • Ruby Slippers
  • Cowardly Lion

Belong to Gregory Maguire:

  • Elphaba Thropp 

Belong to So Who Wins:

  • Other-Other-Realm (Sort of)
  • Winkie Castle#503 (Sort of)

Belong to NBC/Universal:

  • Defying Gravity