Darkness clouded the noiseless city, buildings raked through the sky, subways weaved in and out of the earth, and a lonely car made its way along 233rd avenue. Not the best part of Gotham, but the car was not staying. Red lights turn on as the car stops. Inside the car was a young Barbara Gordon, the commissioner’s daughter, and known by few as the Batgirl. Barbara puts her foot on the accelerator as the light turns green, and the car stars forward. 300 dollars, just for a new tail light thinks Barbra next time Bruce can fix it.
The car pulls up to a wrought iron gate. Barbra opens her window, Oh; Alfred must be asleep at this time of night. I do not want to wake him. Barbara flips a switch on the lower side of the speaker/microphone and an access panel flips out, almost from nowhere. Barbra types the 23 digits password (“nanananananananaBatman!”) the gate opens and Barbra pulls in. She parks next to Bruce’s Lamborcheti Chesterosa. (only 10 in the world). Barbara gets out of her car and walks to the front door of the manor. A key twist later, the large wooden door creaks open, not a creepy creak, but an authoritative one. Barbara saunters into the entrance hall.
“Oh miss Gordon,” says a voice from her left.
“Alfred” exclaims Barbra “Your still up?”
“Indeed” says Alfred smiling
“Masters Bruce and Dick are out, but there is a small situation.”
“Oh, OK, TO THE BATCAVE!”
“You’ve been watching Saturday morning cartoons again haven’t you?”
“Something like that.”
“Alright miss Gordon,” says Alfred “there is a robbery in progress at the Museum of Random, Obscure, and Artificial Artifacts”
“Understood,” Barbara says, “I’m on my way!”
The Museum of Random, Obscure, and Artificial Artifacts:
“You won’t get this statue Penguin!” shouts Catwoman.
“That where you’re wrong Catwoman!” exclaims Penguin. Penguin pulls out his umbrella and begins to shoot at Catwoman. Catwoman dodges out of the way and throws a small statue at him. Penguin flings the artifact he was holding --a golden cat-- as he stumbles from the hit. Catwoman catches the small gold cat, and Penguin flees. At that moment Batgirl crashes thought a skylight, and lands on her feet.
“Catwoman?” Batgirl half asks, half shouts “I thought you were on our side!?” Catwoman glances at the statue in her hands, throws it aside, rolls her eyes, and takes a cat like stance. So which of these Gotham Heroines is victorious? The Bat-Gadgets wielder Batgirl? Or the Catlike reflexes of Catwoman?
Robin: You think we should tell Batgirl that Catwoman was trying to stop the Penguin from stealing the statue, and that Catwoman had nothing to do with it?
Batman: …No, let’s see how this pans out.
Robin: Ok, your call Batman, who do you think will win?
Batman: Well naturally I want Batgirl to win, but I think Catwoman will take her.
Robin: Really? I think Batgirl has it in the bag!
Batman: …She doesn’t have a bag.
Robin: You take everything so literally. I was using a metaphor to explain that Batgirl will win.
Batman: Oh, I know, I was just making a joke.
Robin: Wait…Batman…made…a joke? I’m texting Alfred, he has to know about this!
Batman: I think we should get to the fight.
Robin: Hold on, how do you spell, transmogrifying touchier?
Batman: What does that have to do with me making a joke?
Robin: Nothing, I just like to open every text with a joke.
Batman: How are you going to make a joke out of transmogrifying touchier?
Robin: I can make a joke out of anything.
Batman: How…oh, enough of this, we need to get to the fight.
Batman: (sigh) Batgirl throws a Bat-Shuriken at Catwoman.
Robin: Catwoman jumps into the air to avoid the shuriken, and pulls out her whip.
Batman: Catwoman lands, swings her whip, it wraps around Batgirl's ankle, and Catwoman pulls.
Robin: Batgirl falls to the ground. Catwoman walks towards her.
Batman: Batgirl jumps to her feet, and runs at the now motionless Catwoman.
Robin: Batgirl throws a punch at Catwoman‘s face, but Catwoman dodges it with ease.
Batman: Catwoman grabs Batgirl's now airborne fist, and twists it around.
Robin: Catwoman now has Batgirl's arm twisted around Batgirl's back.
Batman: Batgirl goes to elbow Catwoman with her other arm, but Catwoman catches it, and puts that behind Batgirl’s back as well.
Robin: Batgirl, not able to use her arms struggles to get free, but to no avail.
Batman: Catwoman puts her own leg in front of Batgirl's, and pushes Batgirl.
Robin: Batgirl is pushed forward, trips on Catwoman’s leg, and because her arms were behind her, she didn’t have time to catch herself.
Batman: Batgirl hits her head on the ground, she is unconscious.
Robin: Catwoman runs to go and catch Penguin.
Batman: Catwoman wins!
Catwoman defeats Batgirl 14 votes to 7