So Who Wins - The Any Character in the World Battles

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75. Beast Man vs. Conan

Beast Man vs. Conan: who wins this battle of muscle bound warriors?

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Fighters

Beast Man

 

  Conan

 

Set-Up

(Skip)

Eternia (Just Outside Snake Mountain):

Skeletor’s Forces have just beaten back an attempt by The SnakeMen to retake Snake Mountain. Beast Man (as per Skeletor’s orders) is scouting the edges of the battlefield in order to be certain that the SnakeMen did actually retreat and not merely regrouped. When he comes upon the Serpent Staff.

King Hiss must have dropped this during the battle, thinks Beast Man I could turn it over to Skeletor…or a could use it to increase my power over animals.

After Beast Man finished scouting the area he takes the Serpent Staff to his chambers in Snake Mountain. After several hours of trying to figure out what to do with the Serpent Staff, Beast Man finally decides to just attempt to reach out to the Serpent Staff with his telepathic ability to control animals. After several minutes of trying unsuccessfully to get some type of response from the Serpent Staff, Beast Man growls in frustration and slams the bottom of Serpent Staff on the ground. Unbeknownst to Beast Man this action allowed The Serpent Staff (simply because it like Snake Mountain was created by King Hiss) to tap into the magical energy of Snake Mountain.

“All Right,” snarls Beast Man “One more time!”

Beast Man then again reaches out to the Serpent Staff with his telepathic powers, this time however due to the fact that the Serpent Staff was tapped into the magical energy of Snake Mountain and the fact that Best Man was not a magic user (Nor were his telepathic powers magical in nature). A temporal portal opens and sucks Beast Man into it. After which The portal closed and the Serpent Staff fell on the floor of Beast Man’s chamber.


Earth (A Tavern somewhere In what is now Europe, during the Hyborian Age):

A Tavern serving girl is busy preparing the Tavern to open in order to serve morning travelers who are either entering or leaving town. Once everything has been made ready she goes into the back room where the wine barrels are kept and discovers a large orange creature. The serving girl then screams.

Having no idea where he was Beast Man had been looking at the various barrels in the room when he hears a woman scream, Irritated by the noise Beast Man (Not bothering to even look in the direction of the noise ) grabs a wine barrel and tosses in the general direction of the noise. The wine barrel soars harmlessly over the serving girl’s head and shatters against the wall.

Upon seeing Beast Man effortlessly throw (not to mention shatter) the wine barrel, the serving girl proceeds to run out of the back room screaming.


Outside the tavern:

Conan had just arrived in town and was looking forward to resting in the local tavern and enjoying the wine there, when the serving girl runs out of the tavern screaming. Conan intercepts the serving girl and asks.

“What is wrong?”

“A…monster…is in the tavern.” says the serving girl, the panic clearly evident in her voice, “he is destroying the wine.”

“I’ll not stand for this!” shouts Conan “Leave this creature to me.”

Conan then stalks into the tavern and upon hearing the sound of smashing. Quickly heads for the back room.

Beast Man had just smashed the last wine barrel when Conan entered the room.

Conan looks around and sees the shattered barrels as well as all the wine on the floor. Conan then shouts.

“I know not what manner of creature you are, but by Crom I will have your hide!”

Conan then draws his sword and takes a fighting stance.

Seeing this Beast Man replies.

“Then you’d better be even stronger than you look.”

Beast Man then unfurls his whip and cracks it an intimidating fashion.

So Who Wins: Skeletor’s Savage Henchman or The Barbarian of Cimmeria?

 

*Set-Up written by SimbasGuard

Commentators

Evil-Lyn

 

 Red Sonja

 

Commentary

(Top)

Evil-Lyn: Conan charges at Beast Man, sword high in the air.

Red Sonja: Beast Man cracks his whip again, and it wraps it's way around Conan's sword.

Evil-Lyn: With a tug, Beast Man disarms Conan, and the sword hits the wall behind Beast Man.

Red Sonja: Beast Man cracks his whip again, this time to hit Conan, but Conan must have seen this coming, and rolls out of the way.

Evil-Lyn: Conan pulls two short swords off of his back, and wields them in both hands.

Red Sonja: As Beast Man charges up for another crack of his whip, Conan throws the swords at him one at a time.

Evil-Lyn: One of the swords is knocked out of the air by Beast Man's whip.

Red Sonja: The second, Beast Man catches and throws back at a surprised Conan.

Evil-Lyn: Conan, always a man to think on his feet, shakes off his surprise, and dodges his sword.

Red Sonja: Conan picks up a conveniently placed spear that someone must have left there because of their hurry, and charges at Beast Man.

Evil-Lyn: Beast Man charges as well.

Red Sonja: Conan aims his spear right at Beast Man's heart, but Beast Man is too quick, and grabs onto the spear as well.

Evil-Lyn: Beast Man throws Conan and the spear up against the wall.

Red Sonja: Conan lands on this feet, and throws the spear at Beast Man.

Evil-Lyn: Beast Man catches the spear, no shocker there, and snaps it in half.

Red Sonja: Conan reaches over his shoulder, and brandishes his axe.

Evil-Lyn: Conan charges again, and is followed suit by Beast Man.

Red Sonja: Conan makes a swing at Beast Man, but Beast Man catches the axe by the belly.

Evil-Lyn: Conan was expecting this, and this times releases the axe so Beast Man can't just throw him again.

Red Sonja: Conan pulls out a knife, and stabs Beast Man in the gut.

Evil-Lyn: Beast Man, still holding the axe, takes several small steps back, and falls to the ground.

Red Sonja: There is some cheering from outside, and the doors crash open.

Evil-Lyn: I guess the bar patrons were waiting for the fight to be over so they could come in and have something to drink.

Red Sonja: This would be the part where Conan would finish the beast.

Evil-Lyn: It looks like he is distracted by several scantly clad females.

Red Sonja: I think we can call this fight in favor of Conan.

Evil-Lyn: I think so too, and if I can get to Beast Man, I should be able to heal him, and take him home.


Conan the Barbarian defeats Beast Man 16 votes to 4.

(Top)

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Disclaimer

Belong to Mattel:

  • Beast Man
  • Eternia
  • Snake Mountain
  • Skeletor's Forces
  • Skeletor
  • SnakeMen
  • Serpent Staff
  • King Hiss
  • Evil-Lyn

Belong to The Estate of Robert E. Howard:

  • Conan The Barbarian
  • Hyborian Age
  • Crom
  • Cimmeria 

Belong to Red Sonja LLC:

  • Red Sonja