Tournament 3 is done, enjoy the extensive commentaries!
It's here! all good guys, Marvel vs. DC, 4 members from each universe will fight each other in one on one battles, until there is one winner from each universe. When both sides have that person, the champion of each world will battle. I have chosen the 8 most popular Marvel and DC characters. (minus villains, Superman, Spider-Man, Green Arrow, and Hawkeye. (I got the list of the most popular characters HERE!)). The votes have been tallied up, and 4 members from each the Marvel and DC universe will fight for the title of Chetradome Tournament Champion, as well as claim victory for their universe.
Here are the fighters:
-Hulk (9 votes)
-Wolverine (9 votes)
-Thor (9 votes)
-Captain America (8 votes)
-Batman (14 votes)
-The Flash (10 votes)
-Wonder Woman (10 votes)
-Green Lantern (7 votes)
Captain America / \ / \ Flash
_____Thor ______ vs. __Flash______
Hulk / | \ Wonder Woman
\______Thor _______/ Thor \GL
Thor / (Winner) \ G L
Green Arrow: Hello and Welcome to the Chetradome.
Hawkeye: It’s tournament time again, and the 3rd tournament here in the Chetradome.
Green Arrow: Again we are commentators, and again neither of us were selected as combatants.
Hawkeye: Neither was any of our special correspondents; Legolas back form last time, Red Arrow, and Trick Shot.
Green Arrow: I would like to point out that over the break between now and the last tournament I won the fight between me and Hawkeye here. Naming me the master commentator.
Hawkeye: It doesn’t really matter though, we will each be talking the same amount.
Green Arrow: ha ha, we shall see, we shall see. Well, the Owner of the Chetradome wanted to open the day with a few announcements. Over to you Owner of the Chetradome.
Owner of the Chetradome: Thank you Green Arrow, and thank you all for coming. I would like to start out by saying that we have a new seven member security team. This is their first appearance together, and they will work for me outside this tournament. This tournament is just a practice run for their teamwork. First we have Mallow, team leader, and noted wizard. Second in command we have SimbasGuard, great tiger, and a little extra that we haven’t seen too much of. Next is Mina, long time team mates with Mallow, none of Mina’s powers are the same as Mallows. The Mysterious Jedi, long time friend of SimbasGuard not too well known in Force wielders circles. Some may recognize the Bald man with the axe handle, for the sake of keeping things brief; we’ll call him B.M.A.H…Beemuh. Melt-Down, a fire ninja from The Village Hidden in the Lava. And lastly Pyrian Lupus, fire wolf and pet of Mallow. Please give it up for the Legion of Guardians as they each say a little something. Mallow?
Green Arrow: A sort of pop and a small flash of green later, Mallow the Wizard appears on the podium next to The Owner of the Chetradome.
Mallow: Hello everyone, I am Mallow. I am pleased, honored and very exited to lead the security team for this tournament as well as lead the Legion of Guardians. As you may know, I am a wizard. I can do most upper level spells, I have the power to teleport,--as you saw moments ago-- I can manipulate and control the 7 major elements.: Fire, Water, Earth, Leaf, Air, Lightning, and Ice. My Silver Locket has magical properties, some I can tell you --like that it alerts me to danger-- and some that only I, and the legion of Guardians know. I have a few more powers, and depending on how heavily we need security here, you might see them. Ok, I know SimbasGuard wanted to say something.
Green Arrow: SimbasGuard leaps from the stands, does a somersault on the arena floor, and bounds towards Mallow.
SimbasGuard: Thank you friend. I am SimbasGuard. As you can see I am a rather large white tiger. I don’t know much about my life before Africa, so I’ll start there. In Africa I met a pride of lions, and began to live in their society. I speak every language. Human, Animal, and some that haven’t even been discovered yet. I have enormous strength for a tiger, but only a little bit more than my proportionate size would other wise dictate. When I am not guarding the pride lands my loyalties lie with the Legion of Guardians. I am very pleased to be second in command at this, my third tournament being security. Over to you Mina.
Green Arrow: Blink and you would have missed it, Mina appears with out a sound behind Mallow.
Mina: Think you, my name is Mina, and you may have noticed that I appeared to appear out of nowhere behind Mallow. The truth is, I walked.
Green Arrow: Mina grins as the clamor dies away.
Mina: I have the ability to stop time, once SimbasGuard said his last line, I froze time, and walked over here. Once over here, I turned time on again, giving the illusion of my teleporting. I can also defy other laws of physics too, like turn off gravity. This only works on me through. I can turn my gravity off, kick off and it will appear that I m flying, but really I have almost no control over it. Mallow and I have alternative powers that can get the same job done, by using different powers. Mallow has been a close friend of mine for a long time, I taught him a lot of what he knows, and I am honored to fight along side him in the legion of Guardians. MJ?
The Mysterious Jedi: I thought we had discussed my dislike of nicknames. Call me “Jedi” if you must shorten my name, “MJ” will not do. I shall keep my words brief, being a close friend to SimbasGuard, and being a powerful user of The Force, I will be an important asset to my team. I think it’s Beemuh’s turn now.
Green Arrow: Beemuh is no where to be seen.
Green Arrow: Oh, ok there’s Beemuh, he was as can be predicted, talking to Saphira. Beemuh takes to the podium.
Beemuh: As you know me I am The Bald Man with the Ax Handle, and my hobbies include, thinking about Saphira. I am an ex-comic-book-geek turned ex-pro-wrestler. Now I spend my time helping out the Legion of Guardians. I get enormous strength from the combination of Red Bull and Pixie Sticks, and my weapon of choice is my ax handle. Mallow put a hex on it so that it is unbreakable. It is also unwieldable by anyone but me and the Legion of Guardians. If anyone else tries to hold it, it gets really light, and floats away. If anyone who is deemed unworthy of holding it, wanted to hold it, they would have to hold on for dear life. Well that’s enough about me, now Melt-Down will say a few words.
Green Arrow: A puff of smoke and Melt-Down appears behind Beemuh.
Melt-Down: Thank you. First thing I would like to say, I am honored to be a part of the Legion of Guardians. Next, I am a ninja from the Village Hidden in the Lava, which is in The Land of Fire. I specialize in Fire, and Lava based ninjutsu, but I have a few other tricks up my sleeve, Mallow has been teaching me about the elements. I look forward to being a master of them all someday. Thank you, Pyrian Lupus?
Green Arrow: A flicker of flame starting at the end of Mallow's grounded staff, bursts into the canine form of Pyrian Lupus.
Pyrian Lupus: I am Pyrian Lupus, and I am an early member of the Legion of Guardians. I am a wolf completely made of fire. I have the power to change my size, and if I die, I can be recreated by Mallow. I just thought I would throw out there that I am also a Demon. Thank you.
Owner of the Chetradome: I hope that enlightened everyone on the Legion of Guardians, and what they can do. I would like to take this moment to tell you what the prize for this tournament is. The prize is a Lamborcheti Chesterosa, a large sports car made out of solid gold, and the engine runs on sand. Only ten of them in the world. I have seven, and the BOT’s have the other 3. Oh uh, that Bruce Wayne -B-, Oliver Queen -O-, and Tony Stark -T-. B.O.T.? BOT? the three would be BOT’s? Also over the last two tournaments there has been a restriction on what villains we let in. Well, being that Dr. Doom was able to watch peacefully in the last tournament, I decided that any villain who wants to watch, can. So, look around, you might just see your arch nemesis. But NO fighting! That’s what the tournament is for. That’s also why we have heightened security here. To keep nemesis’s out of each others hair while they enjoy the tournament. Ok, that’s all I will say for now Back to you Green Arrow.
Green Arrow: Thank you, ok I think it’s time to address the giant elephant in the room by say--
Hawkeye: Hey, that’s not nice! Saphira is the perfect size for a dragon!
Green Arrow: No, I meant I’m going to address what everyone see’s, but no one talks about. The fact that there are alternate universes. I know, I know, we’re not supposed to talk about that, but being that Chetradome Island is a nexus of universes, I figured it was Ok, but this tournament is about 2 specific universes. One called “Marvel:, where my friend Hawkeye here is from. And the “DC” one, where I am from. The first fight will be a fight between 2 marvel fighters: Wolverine and Captain America. The winners of the first 4 matches will get a copy of “The Chetradome Tournament Home Game!”. ages 12 and up, 2 to 8 players. Alright well the competitors are on the field and ready to fight. Over to you Saphira.
Saphira: Thank you Green Arrow and Hawkeye. Ok, Wolverine, Captain America, I want a nice clean fight, the winner will move on the semi-finals.
Hawkeye: Alright over to Professor X and Iron Man in the top box.
Professor X: Thank you Green Arrow, It is my pleasure to be commentating for the first fight of Tournament 3. I’ve been hoping that I would live to witness this fight between Wolverine and Captain America.
Iron Man: That’s right, this one should prove to be an interesting fight indeed.
Professor X: Lets get the fight underway, oh, that reminds me. A little different from the last 2 Tournaments, with the first Tournament being a verbal order, and the second being a gong; This time we have a buzzer that will begin each fight. And where is this button that starts the fights you ask? On the desk in front of me of course! The commentators have been given the power to start matches. So you know what I have to say to that? By the power of the Chetradome, I HAVE THE POWER!
Professor X: Captain America starts off with a throw of his shield.
Iron Man: Wolverine jumps into the air.
Professor X: Wolverine takes a quick step on Captain America’s shield that was passing by underneath him, and dives at Cap.
Iron Man: Captain America does a back flip, dodging Wolverines attack, and Wolverine lands and does a somersault while Cap’s shield whizzes right above him. Wolverine gets to his feet and Cap catches his shield.
Professor X: Wolverine charges Cap. Cap, thinking quickly throws his shield at Wolverine’s legs.
Iron Man: Wolverine trips and Cap kicks him in the face.
Professor X: Wolverine goes flying backwards, but lands like a cat none the less.
Iron Man: Wolverine charges again, this time with a little more tenderness to his step. Then without warning, makes vicious stab movements toward Captain America.
Professor X: Luckily it seems that Cap was ready for this and is blocking with his shield.
Iron Man: Wolverine suddenly lunges at Cap’s feet, he blocks it, but a second later Wolverines other fist –non clawed—soars over Cap’s shield, and hits Cap in the face so hard that…well…so hard that we need an instant replay.
Professor X: It’s even better the second time in slow motion.
Iron Man: That it is, that it is.
Professor X: Amazingly it looks as if the fight may be over, although with Wolverine's super strength and the fact that his Knuckles are coated with adamanitum, like the rest of his skeleton. I can't say that I'm surprised.
Iron Man: Well Saphira is looking down at an unconscious Captain America. She raises her head.
Saphira: Captain America is out. Wolverine, you win!
Professor X: Well that about does it. Over to you Green Arrow and Hawkeye.
Green Arrow: Thank you Professor. Alright well, Legolas is ready with Captain America for his segment of “Losers Corner”. Over to you Legolas.
Legolas: Thank you Green Arrow, and welcome everyone to “Losers Corner”. If you are unfamiliar with this part of the Tournament, it is where I briefly interview the losers of each fight as to get into their heads about what happened in the fight that made them lose. Ok, Captain America; why is it that you lost this fight?
Captain America: I guess because of his Beastly Exterior I didn’t think that he had a strategy. Given the random charges at me, and the fact that he tried to stab me, I just assumed he was a “take action first, make strategy later” kind of guy. I was taken aback when he lunged at my feet near the end, and was not expecting a punch less than a split second later. I think he had most of the crowd as well.
Legolas: Perfectly understandable. Well thank you Captain America. And to the rest of you, I will be here after the next fight to interview the loser of that one. Over to you Green Arrow.
Green Arrow: Thank you Legolas. Next we have Trick Shot, who will be our ground correspondent in this next segment we have dubbed: “Getting to know the Security Team.” Over to you Trick Shot.
Trick Shot: Thank you Green Arrow, The first member of the Security Team that I was supposed to interview was SimbasGuard. Unfortunately I have had a hard time finding him. Luckily I ran into Tigress, who was here with SimbasGuard yesterday. That is correct Tigress?
Tigress: Yes it is.
Trick Shot: You two spent the entire day together?
Trick Shot: Could you tell us what you think of him?
Tigress: He was amazing, twelve times and he didn’t even need to rest in-between!
Trick Shot: Yeah I saw, you two were really going at it!
Tigress: I never thought I would say this, but I’ve never had a more impressive sparring partner!
Trick Shot: Thank you Tigress, I hope that gives people more of an Idea of this particular member of The Legion of Guardians. Over to you Green Arrow.
Green Arrow: Thank you Trick Shot. Next we have “Current Events” with Hawkeye. What’s happening in the world right now Hawkeye?
Hawkeye: Well, word is that Lex Luthor is suing Yoda for giving Bizarro bad “proper English” classes. Luthor claims that Bizarro’s language has gotten even less comprehensive, and he wants Yoda to pay for damages and a proper teacher to give the classes. On the flip side, Yoda tells officials that what he said when propositioned by Luthor was, and I quote: “Possess good language skills, he does not. Teach him not, I will.” And that Luthor never paid him in the first place. Luthor has been awarded Yoda’s swamp, and an appeal is happening at this moment.
Green Arrow: Wow, it sucks to be Yoda.
Hawkeye: That’s for sure.
Green Arrow: Well now we’re going to go back to Legolas with the between fight entertainment. Over to you Legolas.
Legolas: Thank you Green Arrow. Ok this time the between fight entertainment will be an eating contest between Garfield and Scooby-Doo. They will indeed be eating something that they both love. Lasagna! This game will be played similar to that of “HORSE” only this one will be called “COW” for obvious reasons. Whoever wins the coin flip will eat as much as they can in 10 seconds, then the other must match or exceed that amount. If they fail, they get a letter. If they succeed, they get to issue the challenge. The first one to “COW” is the loser. Alright, now time to flip the coin. I have the coin, all I need is the flipper. Oh, how about you Captain Marvel?
Captain Marvel: Sure.
Legolas: Here you go,
Legolas: I think we should have gone with someone who’s thumb wasn’t so powerful…well while we wait for the coin to come back down I would like to point something out. As promised by the Owner of the Chetradome, for this Tournament there have been completely free of advertisements. We haven’t even mentioned any brand names. Let’s see how long it lasts! Alright I think that whizzing sound is coming from the falling coin. You’re the only one of us that could possibly catch it without your arm falling off, Captain Marvel.
Legolas: Captain Marvel catches it, flips it over his wrist, and removes his hand to reveal: heads…oh dear… we forgot to assign a coin side to a competitor. (sigh) no matter, the competitors seem to have eaten all of their Lasagna anyway. We’ll have some more air lifted in, it might take a few fights. Luckily we have something else in mind in the mean time. For now though, Over to you Green Arrow and Hawkeye while I arrange the clean-up of Garfield and Scooby-Doo.
Green Arrow: Thank you Legolas. Alright well, Batman and the Flash are on the field ready to fight.
Saphira: I want a nice clean fight. Nothing to bloody.
Green Arrow: She glances at Batman.
Saphira: And nothing to fast.
Green Arrow: She glances at Flash.
Saphira: And Green Arrow?
Green Arrow: um…yes.
Saphira: Send one of your correspondents down here after this fight. I have some things to say.
Green Arrow: I’ll make sure that we get someone down there. Alright we’re ready for the fight to begin. Over to you, Robin and Aquaman.
Robin: Thank you Green Arrow! Well here we have Batman and the Flash ready to fight. Man if there were ever a Justice Leaguer that I wouldn’t want to have to go up against in a fight, it would be Flash.
Aquaman: What about Superman?
Robin: Oh, yeah, Superman. Jeez, I wouldn’t want to have to fight him.
Aquaman: And Wonder Woman?
Robin: I suppose not her either.
Aquaman: Martian Manhunter?
Robin: I guess not.
Aquaman: Green Lantern?
Robin: Oh no.
Robin: Probably not.
Robin: With that Nth Metal mace? Not me!
Aquaman: Black Canary?
Robin: I wouldn’t want to have to fight a girl.
Aquaman: Green Arrow?
Robin: …hmmm…I suppose I could take him.
Green Arrow: I’d like to see you try!
Robin: Oh yeah, I forgot that he was here.
Aquaman: So basically, you wouldn’t want to fight anyone in the Justice League?
Robin: …errm, let me think. Oh I can think of one.
Aquaman: And who would that be?
Atom: You wanna go!?
Robin: Oh COME ON!
Aquaman: Just face it Robin, there isn’t a Justice Leaguer that you would have a chance against.
Robin: (sigh) that may be true, but if I had to pick one to go up against, I wouldn’t want it to be Flash.
Aquaman: Interesting, because personally, I wouldn’t want to have to face Superman.
Robin: Well lucky for these guys, Superman already won, and was therefore was ineligible to compete in this tournament. Oh that reminds me of something!
Aquaman: What are you doing there?
Robin: Texting Hawkeye.
Aquaman: What are you saying?
Robin: Never mind, it’s just a question, and hopefully by the time the fight is over he’ll have the answer.
Aquaman: Could I borrow that as well?
Robin: For what?
Aquaman: I also have a question.
Robin: For Hawkeye?
Aquaman: No, for Green Arrow.
Robin: Ya’know oddly enough, I don’t have Green Arrow’s number in here.
Aquaman: Then Hawkeye I guess.
Robin: (sigh) ok, here you go.
Robin: Maybe we should get the fight started like we’re supposed to. I’m getting dirty looks from the Owner of the Chetradome.
Aquaman: ARG! WHERE’S THE “S”?
Robin: Hit the “7” button 4 for times.
Aquaman: …That didn’t work.
Robin: here, let me see. ..Ha, you hit the “4” button seven times.
Aquaman: Isn’t that what you said?
Robin: No, I said “Hit the ‘SEVEN’ button FOUR times”.
Aquaman: What’s the difference?
Robin: (sigh) you don’t have a lot of Cell phones at the bottom of the Ocean do you?
Aquaman: no, there aren’t any Towers near where I live, so there is no signal, plus they tend to short circuit when submerged in water.
Robin: Alright, now we really have to start the fight, I just saw the owner of the Chetradome talking to Beemuh, and now Beemuh is making his way through the stands and towards us.
Aquaman: Alright, where’s the button?
Robin: I would surmise that it would be this big one in between us.
Aquaman: But what about these smaller ones near the top of the desk.
Robin: (sigh) I don’t know, but we have to start.
Aquaman: Ok…um…what happened?
Robin: The fight is over!
Aquaman: But it barely even started.
Robin: Let’s see that again in slow motion, thanks to our…Son—I mean cool cameras and big screen TV’s that have capture speeds of up to 6400 frames per second. Lets see.
Aquaman: Ok, the buzzer sounded.
Robin: Flash charges forward, only 3 frames of that. Wow!
Aquaman: Flash punches Batman in the face.
Robin: Batman has little time to react when Flash trips him from behind.
Aquaman: Batman begins to fall, when Flash brings his leg down onto Batman’s stomach.
Robin: With that kind of speed, that couldn’t have felt good for Batman.
Aquaman: Batman stirs, and without missing a beat, Flash grabs his arm, and drags him at super speed across the arena.
Robin: Flash, still dragging Batman charges at a wall, then at the last moment, let’s go of Batman. Allowing him to smash into the wall.
Aquaman: All that in just a second or two. Wow.
Robin: Saphira is over at the wall now checking on Batman.
Saphira: Batman in unconscious, congratulations Flash, you move on to the Semi-Final Round of the tournament.
Aquaman: Alright, there you have it. Flash wins, over to you Green Arrow and Hawkeye.
Green Arrow: Alright, what an interesting fight. Well let me just explain what’s going to happen for the next few minutes before the next fight. First we will go over to Legolas with Losers Corner. Second Red Arrow will have an interview with Saphira. Third, Trick Shot will have his segment of “Getting to know the Security Team” Hawkeye will answer those texted questions Robin and Aquaman asked before the last fight. A brief word with The Owner of the Chetradome, and finally the in between fight entertainment with Legolas. So without further ado, let’s get started. Over to you Legolas.
Legolas: Thank you Green Arrow, and before I have this interview with Batman, I would like to avoid any continuity errors by telling you that our arena floor medical expert Sakura Haruno, healed Batman and that is why he is able to have this interview with us now. Ok Batman, Why is it that you lost this fight?
Batman: Well, I think it might have something to do with the fact that the Flash can go as Fast As The SPEED OF LIGHT! If I would have been able to see, or comprehend what was happening before it was over, I would have been able to read his movements, and his strategy. The human brain is fast, but not as fast as the Flash.
Legolas: Profound words, thank you Batman. This is your Third Tournament, correct?
Legolas: Why is it do you think that you keep getting eliminated in the first round?
Batman: Well, my weakness has always been, and will always be the fact that I don’t have any super powers. Frankly, I never find I need any except when I’m fighting along side the Justice League, and of course when I’m here. Take the first Tournament, I had to fight the Hulk. THE HULK! He’s hard to beat even for Superman. I give all the luck in the world to Thor who has to fight him later, but Thor is a god, so it should be a good fight. And in the Second Tournament, I had to fight a Magic Lion who made it to the finals! It would seem that I always get paired up with super powered opponents. I hope I can make it into the tournament next time, and maybe I’ll get paired off with someone weak, like Captain America or something.
Captain America: Hey, wait a second!
Batman: Shut it Cap, no one likes you!
Legolas: It’s ok Captain America, Batman’s just bitter about his quick loss. I think that this interview is over Batman. And if you get in next tournament, I’m sure we will be seeing you in the first round, here in Losers Corner. Over to you Green Arrow.
Green Arrow: Thank you Legolas. Alright, I know that you are all missing the sound of my voice, but don’t worry, I will be talking a little bit later. For now however, we will go over to Red Arrow with interview of Saphira. Over to you Red Arrow.
Red Arrow: Thank you Green Arrow. Ok, Saphira, you had something that you wanted to say?
Saphira: Well first of all, I wanted to show you this sweet song that a hunk of a Dragon wrote for me.
Red Arrow: Are you talking about Drake?
Red Arrow: Alright, let’s see it.
Saphira: it’s on that table.
Red Arrow: Where? I don’t se—oh, It is literally written ON the table. But Saphira, it’s just your name written over and over again.
Saphira: I know, isn’t it sweet?
Red Arrow: erm, yes? That’s not all you had me come down here for. Is it?
Saphira: Of course not. What you think that I’m that self centered that I would make you walk all the way down here just so I could show you a song that a very intelligent, very shiny…very good looking… very muscular …and oh the wingspan!
Red Arrow: Um, Saphira?
Saphira:…hmmm? Oh yeah, right. Uh, what were we talking about?
Red Arrow: You were saying that you had something else to say.
Saphira: Oh, yes. I have a complaint. Well three of them actually. There are three men that need to be removed from the Chetradome.
Red Arrow: And who are they?
Saphira: Their names are: Po, Sasuke, and Beemuh.
Red Arrow: I’m sensing a story for each of these men?
Saphira: Well if you must here them!
Red Arrow: Oh, we must.
Saphira: Very well. First, Po. I was very excited to here that there was someone called the Dragon Warrior here in the Chetradome. When I had Eragon find him for me, he brought me back Po. And well, you’ve seen him I’m sure. I had assumed that the Dragon warrior would be a Dragon. But no, apparently he’s a fat Panda Bear. (sigh) That’s got to be like false advertisement. Isn’t that Illegal here?
Red Arrow: Well in all technicalities, there are no clear laws here. And since he’s not selling anything, it couldn’t be called advertising.
Saphira: Well it would be the same as if I were to call myself the…Tiger Warrior or something. I’m Sure SimbasGuard wouldn’t appreciate that too much.
Red Arrow: I suppose not. Ok, so why do you want Sasuke out?
Saphira: Well he showed me his Dragon Flame technique. All I did was correct him, and he cursed at me and shouted that his way is better.
Red Arrow: I don’t think that that is just cause to kick him out.
Saphira: Well someone should at least wash his mouth out with soap. I looked up some of those words in the dictionary, and they don’t really coincide with the situation.
Red Arrow: Alright, I will have the Mysterious Jedi speak with him.
Saphira: Thank you.
Red Arrow: and lastly Beemuh.
Saphira: Yes, personally I think that he should be kicked off the Security Team.
Red Arrow: Why is that?
Saphira: He just won’t stop talking to me.
Red Arrow: Is that a crime?
Saphira: It is when it’s distracting me from my job.
Red Arrow: It’s that bad?
Saphira: It’s not like he’s saying anything inappropriate, but more like I need a little break, like now for instance. I’m really glad the Owner of the Chetradome had to use him for something. Goodness that man makes me miss Mushu.
Red Arrow: Well Saphira, as for Po I don’t think there is anything that needs to be done. Beemuh will be talked with, and I am sure that you can expect an apology from Sasuke.
Saphira: Thank you Red Arrow.
Red Arrow: And thank YOU Saphira, over to you Green Arrow.
Green Arrow: Thank you Red Arrow, now we move on to Trick Shot with his segment of Getting to Know the Security Team. Trick Shot?
Trick Shot: Thank you Green Arrow. Here I have Pyrian Lupus. It would seem that the Mask, Deadpool, and Joker are trying to roast marshmallows on you.
Pyrian Lupus: Alas they are, but to no avail. You see, my fire is only hot when I want it to be, and since I’m sure you don’t want 3rd degree burns, I have my heat off.
Trick Shot: Well I appreciate that… I have a question for you. How is it that you found yourself a part of the Legion of Guardians?
Pyrian Lupus: Well as you already know I’m sure, Mallow summoned me from Hell, and has had a hard time getting rid of me since then. Ha ha ha. I am exaggerating a little bit, I can come and go as I please, but Mallow can also summon me if he needs to. I do however spend most of my time on the surface, the only time I need to go down is to eat.
Trick Shot: What is it that you eat?
Pyrian Lupus: Well since I am technically immortal, I don’t need to eat regularly, I will begin to lose strength. At which point I am entirely useless. So once a day I travel to Lehethro, a plain of existence created by Mallow in Hell. It is basically a really big Hellish forest with other fire animals there.
Trick Shot: That is fascinating. I would love to hear more of this, but it seems that we are running out of time, thank you Pyrian Lupus, and over to you Green Arrow.
Green Arrow: Thank you Trick-Shot. Ok Hawkeye, I know that everyone is wondering what Robin and Aquaman texted you. So, let’s hear it.
Hawkeye: Alright, well we’ll do Aquaman’s first. If you remember, he wanted to get in touch with you, so here’s what he asks: “Since sound travels 5 times faster underwater, what would happen if Black Canary did her Sonic Scream underwater? Would everything in the water just instantly die?” What do you say Green Arrow?
Green Arrow: …hmmm…Honestly, I have no idea. Try “ask.com”, I’m sure they would know.
Hawkeye: And Robin’s Question isn’t really one that I can answer myself. This question is for The Owner of the Chetradome. It says: “Do u think that after 8 tournaments the OOTC will have all the winners of the tournaments fight in 1 champion of champions tournament?” Well my answer is, I have no idea, but that would be sweet. But to answer that we have the Owner of the Chetradome, who was going to speak next anyway. What do you think Owner of the Chetradome?
Owner of the Chetradome: Well Robin, once I had tournament 2, I thought that that would be my end goal. A champion of tournaments tournament, that is of course if I could get them all to consent. That brings me to what I needed to say. This is kind of spilling the beans before you even get to the store and buy them, but for the next tournament, the theme will be Villains. That is all, over to you Green Arrow.
Green Arrow: Wow, a villains tournament! I guess I don’t have to worry about getting chosen for that one. I can’t wait.
Hawkeye: It’s kind of far off to be making decisions about it don’t you think?
Green Arrow: True, but at least we know we can count on another tournament if he already has a theme. He MUST really want to do them. Ok, our originally intent was to go to Legolas with the in between fight entertainment. Unfortunately the plane load of lasagna hasn’t arrived yet, so we have to wait until next time. So we will move on. The Hulk and Thor are making their way onto the field now, and Saphira settles in between their two stance spots. She is going to talk while they make their way to the center.
Saphira: Alright I want a nice clean fight, and please keep the property damage to a minimum.
Green Arrow: Alright the fight is ready to begin over to you Dr. Strange and Namor.
Dr. Strange: Thank you Green Arrow, ok I would like to start off by saying that we –unlike the last fight commentators—are not going to argue or talk about silly things that have nothing to do with the fight.
Namor: Dr. Strange and I have agreed that it would be most beneficial if we started the fight right away. Do you want to hit the buzzer?
Dr. Strange: Uermmm no, I’ll get it next time.
Namor: What does that mean?
Dr. Strange: Well Hulk is going to win this fight. So when Hulk has to fight Wolverine I’ll hit it then.
Namor: Are you saying that you have the fight all figured out?
Dr. Strange: I’m saying that Hulk is pretty unbeatable, I mean…he’s Hulk.
Namor: Yes, but Thor is a God!
Dr. Strange: I think that we will have to see who the victor in this match is.
Namor: Alright, ha, it would seem that despite our efforts not to argue or waist time, we have argued and wasted time.
Dr. Strange: Indeed.
Namor: Thor Leaps into the air as a wave of lightning comes down on Hulk.
Dr. Strange: Hulk seemed to have shaken it off as he charges forward.
Namor: Hulk leaps into the air, and air tackles Thor.
Dr. Strange: A resounding crash and the two are on the ground.
Namor: Hulk gets to his feet. And Thor shoves his hammer into Hulk's chest to get Hulk off of him.
Dr. Strange: Hulk stumbles backwards, but quickly regains his composure and roars.
Namor: Then, without missing a beat, Hulk tries to take Thor’s hammer.
Dr. Strange: Thor swings his whole body around, using Hulk’s arm as support, and kicks Hulk in the face.
Namor: Hulk again stumbles backwards as Thor charges, hammer high in the air.
Dr. Strange: Hulk dodges at the last minute as Thor makes a mighty swing.
Namor: Thor loses his balance a little, and Hulk taking advantage of that slams his fist into the small of Thor’s back.
Dr. Strange: Thor drops his hammer as he falls to the ground several yards away from Hulk.
Namor: Hulk, knowing what’s going to happen next grabs the handle of Thor’s hammer still on the ground.
Dr. Strange: As Thor gets to his feet, he raises his hand into the air to call for his Hammer.
Namor: Flying through the air towards Thor is his Hammer, and Hulk –still holding on--.
Dr. Strange: Thor reaches for his hammer, trying to avoid the flying Hulk, but Hulk still has a firm grip on the Hammer.
Namor: Hulk either wants the hammer, or doesn’t want Thor to have it. Either way, this can only end badly for Hulk.
Dr. Strange: As if listening to us, Hulk kicks Thor in the stomach, and Thor goes flying backwards leaving his hammer behind.
Namor: Hulk who was still holding on to the hammer, is quickly yanked to the ground.
Dr. Strange: Hulk lets go of the hammer, and straightens up.
Namor: Hulk and Thor seem to be having a stare-off as they both try and think of what to do next as well as anticipate what their opponent will do.
Dr. Strange: Hulk –losing his patience—charges at Thor.
Namor: Thor grins and raises his hand into the air.
Dr. Strange: Mjolnir –Thor’s hammer—rockets toward Thor, tripping Hulk from behind on its way.
Namor: Mjolnir settles in Thor’s hand.
Dr. Strange: A quick flex of the muscles from Thor, and a staggering to his feet from Hulk. The battle continues.
Namor: Hulk roars, and Thor throws his hammer. Hulk dodges it easily.
Dr. Strange: Hulk laughs and Thor smiles.
Namor: The Hammer comes back to hit Hulk in the back of the head. Hulk falls face first to the ground.
Dr. Strange: Thor --catching his hammer—flies about 7 feet above where Hulk is now getting to his feet.
Namor: Hulk looks around, and the air thickens.
Dr. Strange: A golden aura seems to envelope Thor as he raises Mjolnir, and brings it down hard onto Hulk’s head. Hulk falls backwards.
Namor: If Thor were fighting anyone else, I would have wagered a guess that Thor killed him. However I think that Hulk is just unconscious.
Dr. Strange: Saphira lands next to Hulk. Hulk blinks stupidly and smiles up at her, still very dazed.
Saphira: Hulk is unable to continue, Thor is the winner. Congratulations Thor, you will be fighting Wolverine in the Semi-Finals.
Namor: Well there you have it. Thor wins, over to you Green Arrow and Hawkeye.
Green Arrow: Thank you Namor and Dr. Strange. Ok we will start by going over to Legolas who will be interviewing Hulk. But in the mean time –while Sakura makes her way onto the field—I think it’s time that there is some Green Arrow-Hawkeye interaction.
Hawkeye: Wait? I get to talk?!
Green Arrow: When do you not get the chance to talk?
Hawkeye: Well it’s just that I only had like 3 lines during the last break, and most of them were about you. I feel more useless than Sakura
Green Arrow: Well I’m sorry if you’re feeling neglected, I guess this will be a nice chance for you to say what’s on your mind. What is on you mind?
Hawkeye: Well actually there is something very important that I wanted to say.
Green Arrow: And what’s that.
Hawkeye: Well it concerns the Owner of the Chetradome.
Green Arrow: And…
Hawkeye: Well if you look at the history of the tournaments, it would seem that there is always an attempt made to end the owner of the Chetradome’s Li---
Unknown Voice: RED ALERT…RED ALERT…SECURITY TEAM TO BATTLE STATIONS…A THREAT TO THE CHETRADOME HAS BEEN DETECTED NOT FAR FROM HERE…THIS THREAT IS APPROACHING!
Hawkeye: What’s happening?
Green Arrow: I don’t know. How could there be a threat to the Chetradome approaching? All the Villains are here watching the fights!
Hawkeye: Is there anyone that you can think of that isn’t here?
Green Arrow: I can’t think of anyone that isn’t here.
Hawkeye: Maybe we should just call out names, and they could say if they are here or not?!
Green Arrow: Are you saying that you want to attempt a Roll-Call?
Hawkeye: Why not?
Green Arrow: Because there are 3 million people here! Wait, there’s 3 million people here. Most of them are Superheroes or Super Villains! There’s no way that any force could take us all out! Except maybe Galactus.
Galactus: No, I’m here!
Green Arrow: Then I think that it’s safe to say that we will be fine as long as everyone helps out.
Hawkeye: Hold on, the green light on the desk is flashing! What does that one mean again?
Green Arrow: It means that the Owner of the Chetradome would like to say something, and that we should give him an introduction, and turn his microphone on.
Hawkeye: ermmm, ok. Over to you Owner of the Chetradome!
Owner of the Chetradome: I just want to say to everyone, DO NOT PANIC! Also, if you could all please stay in your seats. I don’t have visitor insurance, so if any of you were to get injured or die, I would probably go bankrupt. Please just let the Legion of Guardians do their job as the Security Team. Back to you Green Arrow and Hawkeye.
Green Arrow: It would seem that the words of the Owner of the Chetradome have soothed the audience as they have stopped making a lot of noise.
Hawkeye: It would seem that the Legion of Guardians are already on the job, they are stationed at 7 points around the Chetradome. I guess they don’t know exactly what direction this threat is coming from.
Green Arrow: I have been wanting to see these guys in action, but not under these circumstances.
Hawkeye: Is it wrong that I can’t wait to see what this threat is going to be?
Green Arrow: Yes it is, you are a horrible person…
Hawkeye: I just want to see how good of a butt kicking these Legion of Guardians can dish out.
Green Arrow: I think that we are going to find out right now.
Hawkeye: A Hulk sized man in black and red with the look of the Devil.
Green Arrow: An average looking man in Black and Orange.
Hawkeye: And a very good looking woman in a black outfit. They all jump/float down to the center of the arena.
Owner of the Chetradome: The big guy is Oblivion, and girl is Toxen, and the guy in orange is Extinction.
Green Arrow: Owner of the Chetradome? Where are you?
Owner of the Chetradome: Honestly, I don’t think it would be a wise decision to say, as those three can hear us. Let’s just say I’m where I was last time there was an invasion.
Green Arrow: What kind of villains are the Legion of Guardians facing?
Owner of the Chetradome: Honestly, all I can tell you is that Oblivion is a Demon, so use your imagination. Toxen is a Necromancer. And Extinction is a Dark Wizard…with some interesting powers.
Hawkeye: Toxen raises her arms and out of the ground sprouts about a hundred Pomeranian sized creatures. They look like a cross between a Dragon and a Bear.
Owner of the Chetradome: Knowitall?
Unknown Voice now revealed to be a person called “Knowitall”: They are an invention of Toxen’s. She calls them: “Nogarbs”. Nogarb spelled backwards is “Bragon” which would be a combination of Bear and Dragon. I think she adopted this name through the suggestion of Extinction. Who’s entire magical arsenal depends on backwards English. They can also breath fire.
Green Arrow: Who is that?
Owner of the Chetradome: Her name is Knowitall I will explain later.
Hawkeye: The Legion of Guardians are making their way to the center of the arena, surrounding the three villains.
Knowitall: ehem, Terrible Trio.
Hawkeye: She just knows everything doesn’t she?
Green Arrow: (sigh) The Nogarbs fly over the audience. It would appear that they are looking for something.
Hawkeye: Mallow teleports down right behind Extinction. Puts his hand on Extinction’s shoulder, and the two disappear.
Green Arrow: A moment later, Mallow reappears. Mallow must have dropped him off somewhere.
Hawkeye: I don’t think Mallow thought that the three could be taken out together.
Green Arrow: He’s buying time, so that the Legion can defeat these two, and hopefully Extinction won’t be back before then.
Hawkeye: This Extinction guy must be something really powerful if Mallow is afraid to fight him without the full power of the Legion of Guardians.
Green Arrow: Oblivion who seemed to have been doing a Sakura by not doing anything.--
Green Arrow: Takes to flight and looks around.
Hawkeye: One of the Nogarbs seems to have spotted something in the top box.
Green Arrow: Oh no, the Owner of the Chetradome!
Hawkeye: Oblivion zooms to the top box, and punches it open.
Green Arrow: Toxen summons 12 Minotaur’s, and Oblivion grabs the Owner of the Chetradome.
Owner of the Chetradome: Crap!
Hawkeye: Oblivion throws the Owner of the Chetradome towards Toxen a half-mile away.
Green Arrow: Someone do something! The Owner of the Chetradome--
Hawkeye: Is caught by!...Oblivion?!
Green Arrow: Wait what?
Knowitall: He can teleport!
Hawkeye: Oh, well that explains it! (sigh) that would have sucked if the Owner of the Chetradome was smeared across the field.
Green Arrow: But the Owner of the Chetradome appears to be unharmed?
Hawkeye: Maybe Oblivion has really soft hands?
Green Arrow: With Talons?
Hawkeye: You never know!
Green Arrow: Oblivion Laughs as the other Legion members get to the Minotaur’s.
Hawkeye: Pyrian Lupus however makes a B-line for Oblivion.
Green Arrow: Beemuh uses his axe handle like a bow-staff and jabs a Minotaur in the throat.
Hawkeye: While SimbasGuard prefers to rip out a Minotaur’s throat.
Green Arrow: The Mysterious Jedi takes out two with one swish of his Lightsaber,
Hawkeye: Melt-Down lights a few on fire.
Owner of the Chetradome: And Oblivion roars in despair!
Green Arrow: Owner of the Chetradome! How?
Owner of the Chetradome: I can’t be sure, but I’m pretty sure that Mina stopped time, took me out of Oblivion’s hands and dragged me up here. Well at least I know she didn’t carry me, my butt cheeks hurt!
Hawkeye: Oblivion is unaware of Pyrian Lupus because of his recent loss of the Owner of the Chetradome.
Green Arrow: Pyrian Lupus breaths fire onto Oblivion, and Oblivion returns fire. As Pyrian Lupus grows in size.
Hawkeye: Wow, this fight can go nowhere, hellfire vs. hellfire.
Owner of the Chetradome: Don’t underestimate Pyrian Lupus. I see several ways he could defeat Oblivion right now.
Green Arrow: Are you going to let him in on them?
Owner of the Chetradome: it would be unwise for me to let Oblivion know what Pyrian Lupus is going to do next.
Hawkeye: SimbasGuard, Beemuh, Melt-Down, and The Mysterious Jedi continue to mow down Minotaurs while Toxen continues to summon them.
Green Arrow: Mallow is putting all of his efforts into maintaining a shield for the audience against the Nogarb’s fire breath.
Hawkeye: Mina is out of our line of vision, and Pyrian Lupus is now to the size that would make him a perfect companion for Galactus.
Green Arrow: Mallow is using his free hand to shoot down Nogarbs with electricity.
Hawkeye: Pyrian Lupus chomps down on Oblivion and swallows him…wait what?! He just ate a Super Villain!?
Knowitall: Everything that Pyrian Lupus eats is instantly teleported to Lehethro. Where no one but Pyrian Lupus knows how to get out.
Green Arrow: Well, one down, ermmm wait, what just happened?
Hawkeye: It was like watching a movie, and there were a few frames missing in the middle of the action.
Green Arrow: Suddenly Toxen disappeared, and a human ball 6 feet in diameter made of what looks to be a metallic liquid appeared 10 feet above where she was. Anyone care to explain?
Knowitall: This is actually a top secret power that Mina has, and wasn’t supposed to use it publicly for anything other than a life or death situation. But being that she spilled the beans, I guess I can explain.
Hawkeye: Please do.
Knowitall: Well, you know how Mallow has control of the elements?
Green Arrow: Yes.
Knowitall: And you also know that Mallow and Mina have conflicting powers. None are the same, but they get the job done?
Knowitall: Well this metallic Liquid –which as of yet is nameless—only exists when Mina creates it. There is no other substance in the known universe that has the same qualities or chemical composition as this. She also has to maintain it. So taking a sample is out of the question, unless she is there for the tests. It can be solid, liquid or gas, whatever she wants. It has no melting or freezing point. It is magic proof, although not to her, and it does indeed conduct electricity.
Green Arrow: Wow! That’s awesome!
Hawkeye: Even awesomer, that whole time Knowitall was talking, Mina was shrinking the ball. It is now the size of a marble.
Green Arrow: So because the substance isn’t impervious to her magic she was able to charm the inside of it. By shrinking Toxen. Well at least let’s hope she shrunk her.
Hawkeye: Mina signals to Mallow who had just finished with the last of the Nogarbs, and he drops the shield.
Green Arrow: Mina says something to Mallow. He waives his hand and the metallic ball is covered with a much darker substance.
Knowitall: Just so there is no confusion, Metal is one of the elements that Mallow can control, it is also magic proof. It would appear that Mallow covered her substance so that she wouldn’t have to maintain it. Because that substance is so irregular, she has to maintain it while Mallow doesn’t have to maintain any of his elements.
Hawkeye: Wow, it’s a good thing that you are here Knowitall. I would be so confused right now.
Knowitall: Well I try.
Green Arrow: Mina puts the marble containing Toxen in her pocket, then suddenly there is a loud crash, as for some reason Extinction felt the need to make a new hole in the roof of the Chetradome.
Hawkeye: Extinction lands on the arena floor and looks around.
Green Arrow: Before he can make a movement, Mina uses her substance to bind his feet and hands.
Hawkeye: Extinction glares at her menacingly.
Green Arrow: Mallow smiles as he raises his hands.
Hawkeye: It looks like he’s conducting the symphony orchestra but he is doing some pretty crazy things.
Green Arrow: Ok, First. Like a mouse trap, the earth around Extinction clamps shut.
Hawkeye: A heaping mound of earth covers the bound Extinction.
Green Arrow: Water suddenly appears out of nowhere and falls onto the earth.
Hawkeye: The Muddy mass then begins to freeze as Mallow makes another motion with his hands.
Green Arrow: Mallow covers the whole scene with a round metal shell, and it glows red hot.
Hawkeye: The round metal ball levitates, then shrinks to half its size. It sucks to be Extinction.
Green Arrow: Then from the tips of Mallow's fingers bursts a web of electricity. It engulfs the metal ball, and continues to flow through it.
Hawkeye: Mallow takes to flight, and the ball follows him.
Green Arrow: Mallow and the ball both go through the open hole in the arena roof, and almost to say “it’s done” The metal of the roof stretches to cover the holes. Thanks Mallow.
Hawkeye: The other Legion members breathe a sigh of relief and make there way off of the field.
Green Arrow: The Audience Roars!
Hawkeye: A few humble smiles from everyone, and a large grin from Beemuh. It would seem that everything is back to normal.
Green Arrow: I think normal sound like a good plan. But first it looks like the Owner of the Chetradome would like to say something.
Owner of the Chetradome: Hello everyone. Let’s give it up one more time for the Legion of Guardians!
(Audience roars again)
Owner of the Chetradome: There are a couple of things that need to be cleared up. First by now you all know Knowitall. She is the Information Officer to the Legion of Guardians. She also has complete control over the speaker system here. So she gets to talk whenever she wants. That brings me to the second thing. How we knew that they were coming. Well, Mallow and Mina both had been telling me that there was a surge of magical energy earlier today. As well as the Mysterious Jedi feeling a disturbance in The Force. The Red Alert was called when SimbasGuard –who was outside for some reason—caught the scent of something up wind, and the scent was getting stronger. That something was the smell of Demon. I don’t know, apparently they have a significantly different smell then humans, and SimbasGuard could tell it wasn’t Pyrian Lupus. Ok for the last thing. I don’t know if all of you noticed, although I heard Hawkeye and Green Arrow point it out. I have a …well I guess you would call it…a superpower. And if you remember to when Oblivion threw me, I was unharmed. That is because I …am invulnerable. For some strange reason. I can’t be cut, or crushed, and I don’t need to breath. It’s kind of a lame power, because that is all I have. No super strength or speed. Is just can’t die. And for some strange reason, I have stopped aging. I just thought that you should all know that.
Bullseye: Damn it…I was going to try again!
Owner of the Chetradome: well that is all I have to say. Over to you Green Arrow and Hawkeye…try to wrap it up pretty soon, we are way behind schedule.
Green Arrow: Thank you Owner of the Chetradome.
Hawkeye: Unfortunately, Hulk is unable to answer questions because he is crying. However Legolas was able to get a quote out of him that he just texted me: “Hulk sez: “Hulk Saaaaad””. Owe! Poor Hulk!
Green Arrow: Ok, I guess we’ll get straight to the fight, simply because I think that we have had enough between-fight-entertainment and I think we got to know the Legion of Guardians enough for the time being. Green Lantern and Wonder Woman are making their way onto the field right now, over to you Saphira.
Saphira: Alright, well like the last fight, let’s keep the property damage to a minimum if you can, and I want a nice clean fight!
Hawkeye: Alright, over to you Zatanna and Hawkgirl.
Zatanna: Thank you Hawkeye and Green Arrow. Say Hawkgirl?
Zatanna: Hawkeye, Hawkgirl...any relation?
Hawkgirl: haha, no.
Zatanna: How do you know?
Hawkgirl: In the simplest terms, we are from different universes.
Zatanna: oh...well, I suppose that will do it.
Hawkgirl: yup. Think we should start the fight now?
Zatanna: Yeah, you wanna push the button?
Hawkgirl: Only if you don't want to.
Zatanna: Go ahead, I insist.
Hawkgirl: Alright, the fight begins immediately, Wonder Woman throws her tiara at Green Lantern, but to no avail; Green Lantern dodges it with ease.
Zatanna: Green Lantern shoots a green blast at Wonder Woman, and she blocks it with her bracelets.
Hawkgirl: Green Lantern takes to flight, and shoots another blast of green at Wonder Woman.
Zatanna: Wonder Woman tries to block, but is unable to.
Hawkgirl: She looks down to seen her arms anchored to the ground by Green Lanterns green energy.
Zatanna: Wonder Woman thinks quickly, and ducks under the path of the blast.
Hawkgirl: Green Lantern grits his teeth in slight anger that his seemingly flawless plan for victory was foiled.
Zatanna: Wonder Woman breaks free of her arm prison, takes to the air, and charges at Green Lantern.
Hawkgirl: Wonder Woman charges up for a colossal punch, only to be blocked by a green shield from Green Lantern.
Zatanna: Green Lantern drops his shield, and surrounds Wonder Woman in a ball of his green energy.
Hawkgirl: Green Lantern then creates a hammer above the ball.
Zatanna: Seconds later the hammer comes down on the ball, and the ball goes crashing down to the ground.
Hawkgirl: Green Lanterns green energy dissipates as Wonder Woman hits the ground.
Zatanna: Wonder Woman gets to her feet a little shaken.
Hawkgirl: Wonder Woman takes to flight again and charges at Green Lantern yet again.
Zatanna: Green Lantern lets loose a barrage of green energy blasts.
Hawkgirl: Wonder Woman swings her arms wildly blocking all the blasts.
Zatanna: Wonder Woman stops charging to concentrate on blocking the blasts.
Hawkgirl: Green Lantern --while shooting continuous blasts at Wonder Woman-- creates a giant fist above Wonder Woman.
Zatanna: After a few more blasts, and a twitch in the eye from Green Lantern, The giant fist above Wonder Woman comes crashing down on top of her.
Hawkgirl: The force knocks Wonder Woman to the ground.
Zatanna: Green Lantern creates another fist and the two take turns punching Wonder Woman deeper into the ground.
Hawkgirl: How is Green Lantern supposed to know if she is knocked out or not?
Zatanna: I think the nod from Professor X was enough to tell us that she is unconscious.
Hawkgirl: Saphira lands next to Wonder Woman.
Saphira: This fight is over, Green Lantern wins!
Zatanna: Alright, over to you Green Arrow and Hawkeye.
Hawkeye: So we are going to hurry along, over to you Legolas who will be interviewing a newly revived Wonder Woman
Legolas: Thank you Green Arrow and Hawkeye, alright Wonder Woman; What do you think that it was that led to your demise?
Wonder Woman: Frankly, I have no idea. I thought that I had this one in the bag, great Hera, I'm never going to hear the end of this.
Legolas: The end of what exactly?
Wonder Woman: Ever since that day that Green Lantern kept using his ring to pull the conference room's TV closer to himself, and I told him that if he did it again I'd...well, I guess the polite way of saying it would be that I would “take him down”. He responded with a “I'd like to see you try.”. And as luck would have it, not a moment after Green Lantern uttered his last word we got a memo from The Chetradome requesting our presence at the Tournament. It seemed like the perfect opportunity to put our words to the test.
Legolas: Why were you two being so hostile towards one another?
Wonder Woman: It's was garbage day.
Legolas: That still doesn't explain--
Wonder Woman: You see the moonbase generates a lot of garbage, and the only one who can lift it is Superman. He forgot to take the trash out, and we were all a little soar about having to live with the smell for another week.
Legolas: Thank you Wonder Woman, well you heard it here folks Wonder Woman lost, and even superheroes have to take out the trash once and a while. Over to you Green Arrow and Hawkeye.
Hawkeye: I just got a text message. It's from Superman. It says: “For the record, I was busy saving the world, I didn't forget, I just figured the jeopardy of the world was more important than a week of bad smells.” Well I guess that clears that up.
Hawkeye: Well, Superman has a Super-memory so there is no way that he should forget...anything.
Hawkeye: I think this is about the time that we go over to Red Arrow...or is it Trick Shot? I forget.
Hawkeye: OK then, over to you Trick Shot.
Trick Shot: Thank you Green Arrow and Hawkeye, alright this time we have The Mysterious Jedi. Alright The Mysterious Jedi, what information can you give about your self to the audience that they don't already know?
The Mysterious Jedi: I'm a Jedi.
Trick Shot: I think we've gathered that. Is there anything else?
The Mysterious Jedi: Listen, I don't really like to talk a lot, so why don't you ask me yes or no questions?
Trick Shot: I guess that would work, but why don't we make it short answer instead of yes or no.
The Mysterious Jedi: I guess
Trick-Shot: Alright, off to a nice start already. So how long have you been a part of the Legion of Guardians?
The Mysterious Jedi: Since it's inception.
Trick-Shot: Oh, so you have been here from the start?
The Mysterious Jedi: That's what inception means.
Trick Shot: Ooookay, well let's move on. Why did you join?
The Mysterious Jedi: I was already a part of the security team here at the Chetradome. I seemed the logical choice for membership.
Trick Shot: How did you come to be employed at the Chetradome in the first place?
The Mysterious Jedi: It's hard for a Jedi to find work that isn't for the government, and I was searching thought the classifieds when my friend SimbasGuard called me. He said that there was a really high paying gig over in another dimension. I figured it couldn't be any worse than my dog walking job.
Trick Shot: I suppose not, have you had any other interesting jobs.
The Mysterious Jedi: Well, now that you mention it, several years ago I was approached by Yoda to do a movie, but they wanted a nude scene. In case you haven't noticed, all I wear is black. I have about four dozen of these exact outfits at home. Nudity is not an option, I need to keep my identity a secret, I even shower in my suits.
Trick Shot: Wow, that's...a little weird. And I think that that is the perfect way to end this interview of The Mysterious Jedi. Over to you Green Arrow and Hawkeye.
Green Arrow: Thank you Trick Shot, unfortunately we were still not able to get on schedule with our original time allocation, so the Owner of the Chetradome has decided that we should suspend the in-between fight entertainment.
Hawkeye: Wolverine and Thor are walking out onto the field as we speak.
Saphira: Alright, I want a nice clean fight, and keep the blood shed to a minimum.
Professor X: Thank you Green Arrow and Hawkeye, and I must say Namor this looks like it is going to prove to be a very interesting fight.
Namor: I agree, this is basically a fight of the immortals...good thing this isn't a fight to the death!
Professor X: Yeah, we'd be here all day.
Namor: Personally I think that if anyone is going to finish this fight, it will be Thor.
Professor X: Really? Why is that?
Namor: Well, he's Thor! He has his hammer, and god like powers, and complete control of the weather.
Professor X: That is true, but Wolverine has adamantium claws, who's to say that wont penetrate god-flesh? Also Wolverine is more than willing to use lethal force to finish a fight.
Namor: I suppose we need to watch the fight to know for sure.
Professor X: Alright, let's get the fight under way!
Namor: Wolverine charges, claws unsheathed, and Thor takes a battle stance.
Professor X: Sparks fly as Wolverines claws clash against Thor's hammer.
Namor: Wolverine breaks the clash, and takes a swipe at Thor's legs.
Professor X: Thor quickly takes to flight, Wolverine sheaths his claws and jumps up and grabs Thor's neck with one hand.
Namor: Wolverine unsheathes his free hand a moves to strike Thor in the face.
Professor X: Suddenly a torrent of electricity engulfs Wolverine, and he is thrown from Thor.
Namor: Wolverine hits the ground hard and gets to his feet.
Professor X: Thor throws his hammer at Wolverine, and dives for him at the same time.
Namor: Wolverine dodges the hammer, but it hit hard in the face by Thor.
Professor X: Wolverine is thrown back, and Thor picks up his hammer.
Namor: Wolverine gets up again, and takes a battle stance.
Professor X: Thor raises his hammer, and a bolt of lightning crashes down from the skies.
Namor: Wolverine dives out of the way just in time, I suppose that gives a literal meaning to “lightning fast reflexes”.
Professor X: ha, Wolverine charges for Thor again.
Namor: It would appear that Thor is getting impatient with the fight, and charges at Wolverine.
Professor X: Wolverine hesitates mid-charge. It's not everyday that a God charges at to with the intent of beating you up.
Namor: Wolverine regains his composure just as fast as he lost it and continues his charge.
Professor X: The two get closer and Wolverine jumps.
Namor: Thor, anchoring one of his hands at the butt of the handle on his hammer, hits Wolverine in the forehead with the top of his hammer.
Professor X: Wolverine is thrown backwards, and crumples on the ground.
Namor: Saphira lands next to Wolverine.
Saphira: He's out, Congratulations Thor, you are moving on to the finals!
Professor X: Alright, there you have it. Thor defeated Wolverine (8 to 7). Over to you Green Arrow and Hawkeye.
Green Arrow: Thank you Professor X and Namor. Alright well I think now, we will go over to Legolas who is about to interview a freshly revived Wolverine. Over to you Legolas.
Legolas: Thank you Green Arrow. Alright Wolverine, what happened out there that led to your defeat?
Wolverine: First of all, THOR IS A GOD! That brings me to my second point. EVEN HULK COULDN'T DEFEAT HIM! This fight was over before it began. I mean, I've taken on some tough opponents before, but I'm not too good against gods. (sigh) anyway, I may not have won, but I think that I gave it a hell of an effort.
Legolas: That you did, alright back to you Green Arrow and Hawkeye.
Green Arrow: Thank you Legolas. Alright, I think now is when we go over to Trick Shot who will be interviewing one of the members of the Legion of Guardians. Over to you Trick Shot.
Trick Shot: Thank you Green Arrow. Alright, here I have a member of the Legion of Guardians. Alright Melt-Down, you are a mysterious one. I have some questions for you.
Melt-Down: Alright, go ahead, I will answer them the best that I can.
Trick Shot: Alright, well first, the best question to start with is, who are you?
Melt-Down: I am a Jonin from the village hidden in the lava. My birth name is Nickolas Sodder, but I left that name in Australia.
Trick Shot: There is only one way to ask this, so I'm going to go ahead and ask. What is your life story.
Melt-Down: (sigh) well, I'll be as brief as possible. I was born in Australia, and I grew up to be a metal artist. I was showing my father some of my works when one collapsed on him killing him almost instantly. Upon closer inspection I noticed that it was melted. This combined with every candle I bought melting before I can light them, I figured I must have some special powers. Then I remembered watching this reality show called “Naruto” and decided to move to Japan. There I learned extensive martial arts as well as elemental controls. My elements are earth and fire. If I put them together I can make lava. I got involved with a shady crowd and I became an assassin of gangsters. I worked for Dr. Doom for a short time. Then The Owner of the Chetradome came across my biography on some website, contacted me, and hired me. That's pretty much it.
Trick Shot: Wow, that is very interesting. And that also answered my final question about your powers. Alright well, thank you Melt-Down, we look forward to seeing more of you in the Legion of Guardians. Ok, over to you Green Arrow and Hawkeye.
Green Arrow: Thank you Trick-Shot. Ok, The Flash and Green Lantern are making their way onto the field.
Saphira: Alright, I want a nice and clean fight.
Green Arrow: well, we are ready to begin. Over to you Aquaman and Hawkgirl.
Hawkgirl: Thank you Green Arrow and Hawkeye. Alright well, here we are at the final semi-final match of Tournament 3. Who do you think will win Aquaman?
Aquaman: The Flash.
Hawkgirl: Well I’m rooting for Green Lantern.
Aquaman: Me too, but I think that the Flash will win.
Hawkgirl: Errrm, I guess that makes sense.
Aquaman: Should we get the fight started?
Hawkgirl: I think so. Do you want to push the button?
Hawkgirl: Ok, I’ll push it.
Aquaman: NOT AGAIN!
Hawkgirl: The fight is over.
Aquaman: What happened this time?
Hawkgirl: Let’s take a look…what do you mean you forgot to hit the “record” button? Well I’m sorry folks it would seem that we will never know what happened.
Aquaman: The best we can do is describe the scene.
Hawkgirl: Yes, Green Lantern is on the ground knocked out, and the flash is standing over him.
Aquaman: There are several small craters on the arena floor, and there is a rather large African elephant in the arena as well. Where that came from, I don’t think I want to know.
Saphira: Congratulations Flash, you win. You will be fighting Thor in the finals.
Hawkgirl: Alright, well there you have it, Flash wins. (18 votes to 11) Over to you Green Arrow and Hawkeye.
Green Arrow: Thank you Hawkgirl and Aquaman. Ok now we go over to Legolas in “Losers Corner”.
Legolas: Thank you Green Arrow, ok Green Lantern, why do you think you lost?
Green Lantern: I didn’t even know what was happening. I heard a whooshing sound, and I just started firing energy blasts in his direction. Before I knew it I was waking up to Saphira saying that I had lost. I have no idea where the elephant came from though…Oh well I guess.
Legolas: Well, thank you Green Lantern. Ok back to you Green Arrow and Hawkeye.
Green Arrow: Thank you Legolas. Alright, we’ve been putting it off, but being that this is the last in-between-fight break, we should probably let you know what has been going on. A little “Chetradome News” if you will.
Hawkeye: That’s right, where do you think we should start?
Green Arrow: I think we should start with some law stuff.
Hawkeye: Great, I love legal dramas!
Green Arrow: Then you’ll enjoy hearing that The Owner of the Chetradome threatened to sue King Randor of Eternia.
Hawkeye: If you remember, King Randor had broadcasted the first tournament to the Eternian Citizens. This violates Copyright law…at least earth’s.
Green Arrow: They reached a compromise, King Randor just has to mention the Chetradome in his next speech to his people. No harm to foul.
Hawkeye: What should we go to next. Finance?
Green Arrow: Sounds good. Some accounting ninjas from the Village hidden in the Fine Print have informed me that Jiraiya is writing a book and needs some finances. There will be a donation box near the exit when the tournament is over so anyone who wants to can make a contribution.
Hawkeye: Do you know what the book will be about?
Green Arrow: I guess it’s going to be about a Dragon that is a Ninja
Hawkeye: A Dragon Ninja? …but…that’s...Science-fictionally impossible!
Green Arrow: That barely made sense…
Hawkeye: A Dragon Ninja is a crazy idea.
Green Arrow: But you would read a book about a Dragon Ninja wouldn’t you?
Hawkeye: I’m pre-ordering a copy off of Amazon right now.
Green Arrow: Hawkeye, you said “Amazon”. We were trying to go a whole tournament without mentioning a product or company.
Hawkeye: Oh, I’m sorry! Crap, do you think the Owner of the Chetradome heard?
Green Arrow: I would imagine that he is always listening to the commentary that takes place in HIS Chetradome.
Hawkeye: Your right…I’m so fired.
Green Arrow: Not necessarily, let’s just move on.
Hawkeye: What’s next?
Green Arrow: We weren’t done with finances yet, just one more thing. For anyone who likes to make wagers, Tsunade and Gambit are now taking bets for the final match. But you better hurry; they won’t take bets after the buzzer sounds.
Hawkeye: I think I might get in on that action.
Green Arrow: No you won’t. I took your wallet when we came in this morning so you wouldn’t spend any money.
Hawkeye: You took my wallet?!
Green Arrow: Don’t worry; you didn’t have that much money anyway.
Hawkeye: Wait, wait…FIRST OF ALL, you went through my wallet!?
Green Arrow: Yeah, why not?
Hawkeye: And SECOND OF ALL, what do you mean “Had?”
Green Arrow: Well, I got hungry, and I can’t carry money in this outfit. Have you ever tried to put something leather in a leather pocket? It’s not easy.
Hawkeye: I trust you will pay me back.
Green Arrow: Of course.
Hawkeye: Alright, then I forgive you.
Green Arrow: I didn’t apologize.
Hawkeye: well…you know what I mean.
Green Arrow: no, but now we move on to our next topic. Random things.
Hawkeye: Yes, well I guess that is the best name for it, but there are purposes.
Green Arrow: Barely, Ok well the first thing, is the Punisher is looking for his rocket launcher, that he thinks he left here after the last tournament.
Hawkeye: The last person I saw it with was the owner of the Chetradome when he shot Dr. Doom with it.
Green Arrow: Oh yeah, that’s right. Well Punisher, go and ask the Owner of the Chetradome where it is, I’m sure he can tell you.
Hawkeye: Second, Jiraiya and Quagmire have been trying to pick up dates. Green Arrow and I have made a little wager about who will win, and I’m winning!
Green Arrow: It won’t matter if you win, I have your money.
Hawkeye: oh, ha ha ha…
Green Arrow: Also Cruella de Vil had been measuring SimbasGuard, and has been kicked out of the Chetradome.
Hawkeye: Minor stuff, but now we get to move on to stuff about the fights.
Green Arrow: Alright, well apparently there is an all you can eat buffet…somewhere…so Garfield and Scooby-Doo left to go and “investigate”.
Hawkeye: That left the Chetradome full of lasagna that is not going to eat it’s self, so the Owner of the Chetradome ordered for it to be distributed to the spectators to eat while they watch the final match.
Green Arrow: So those of you that haven’t been served yet, Naruto will be there soon to give you your dinner.
Hawkeye: Also, thanks to Chetradome Publishing, Tigress’s book “Twelve Times: My Day With SimbasGuard” is ready for distribution. All 3 million of you will receive a copy free of charge as you leave.
Green Arrow: I think that’s it. Can you think of anything else?
Hawkeye: No, oh wait I just got a text…it’s from the Flash.
Green Arrow: What’s up?
Hawkeye: here’s what he said: “O, and by the way. I brought the elephant from 1 of the rooms in the Chetradome, I just wanted 2 mess with u guys. lol”
Green Arrow: Well I guess that makes more sense, I was wondering about that.
Hawkeye: Alright, well I think that is all. Thor and Flash are making their way on to the field.
Saphira: Alright, this is the final fight, make it an epic one…but keep it clean!
Green Arrow: Alright, well there we have it. Over to you Aquaman and Namor.
Namor: Thank you Green Arrow and Hawkeye. Alright everyone; here it is, the final match. The winner of this fight will get the right to be called Chetradome Tournament Champion, and will get to sit in the top box for the next tournament.
Aquaman: Don't forget about the Lamborcheti Chesterosa, only 10 in the world you know.
Namor: That's right, now what do you say we get this fight underway?
Aquaman: Sounds good. Now let the final match, BEGIN!
Namor: The battle starts immediately. Thor raises his hammer to the skies and Flash charges forward.
Aquaman: Thor's whole body glows with a golden aura, and Flash continues to charge. What is Thor doing?
Namor: He's using his “God Speed”.
Aquaman: He's going to need it if he hopes to compete with the Flash's speed.
Namor: Flash reaches Thor, and throws a punch.
Aquaman: Before the punch can land, Flash is hit by Thor's hammer, and goes flying back.
Namor: Flash lands roughly on his feet, and Thor throws his hammer.
Aquaman: Flash dodges Thor's hammer with ease, but didn't expect Thor's fist to follow.
Namor: Thor punches Flash square in the face. Flash is thrown back again and falls to the ground.
Aquaman: Thor raises his arms and hammer in victory.
Namor: Not so fast, Saphira hasn't taken off to call the match.
Aquaman: You're right, Flash is getting to his feet, and Thor is facing the other direction.
Namor: Flash speeds toward Thor and punches him in the back.
Aquaman: Thor barely flinches, and turns around. Flash is cradling his injured hand.
Namor: Thor pauses for a moment, then shoves Flash back with his hammer.
Aquaman: Flash goes flying backwards, and crumples to the ground.
Namor: Saphira lands next to Thor.
Saphira: Congratulations Thor (43 to 39), you have fought your way to victory, and are now the Champion of Tournament 3. Please make your way over to the Owner of the Chetradome for your prize.
Namor: As Thor makes his way over to the Owner of the Chetradome, we will send you over to Green Arrow and Hawkeye.
Green Arrow: Thank you Namor. Oh look at this: almost as if on cue, a circus procession erupts from eight different spots onto the arena floor. I guess that's where Flash got the African elephant from. Alright well the Tournament is almost at a close. The Owner of the Chetradome would like to say his final words before we say goodbye. Over to you Owner of the Chetradome.
Owner of the Chetradome: Hello, and thank you everyone for coming to the third tournament to be held here at the Chetradome. Congratulations to you Thor, you will have the honor of the title “Chetradome Champion” and will get to sit in the champions box for the next tournament. Also, here is your Lamborcheti Chesterosa!
Green Arrow: A flash of green reveals a shinny golden Lamborcheti Chesterosa.
Hawkeye: Thor looks pleased, and quickly gets in and drives away.
Owner of the Chetradome: Thank you Thor, alright one final thing, and this is about the next tournament. If you all can recall, this tournament was about a battle between two universes, Marvel and DC. The heroes fought each other, and by Thor winning that gave a victory to Marvel. But next time, I think I will let the villains decide. That's right, the next tournament will be all about the villains, Marvel and DC villains that is. And with that I leave you. Over to you Green Arrow and Hawkeye.
Green Arrow: Thank you Owner of the Chetradome. Alright everyone.
Hawkeye: The Flash didn't want to talk about his defeat, so I think now is where we leave you.
Green Arrow: Don't forget to grab your copy of Tigress's Book on your way out. Thank you, and take care.
If you found any of the jokes in this tournament to be in poor taste, send you complaints to: [email protected]
Belong to So Who Wins:
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Belong to Jim Davis:
Belong to Dark Horse Comics:
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Belong to Shonen Jump:
Belong to Mythology:
Belong to DreamWorks Animation:
Belong to The Warner Bros. Corporation:
Belong to 20th Century Fox:
Belong to Marvel Comics:
Belong to Lucasfilm Limited:
Belong to The Disney Corporation:
Belong to Christopher Paolini:
Belong to The Estate of J.R.R. Tolkien:
Belong to NBC/Universal: