There is no way I can win. Thinks Hades as he surveys the deities around him. Thanatos, Mephisto, Blackheart, Loki, Hela, Set, and Anubis. Look at their faces, they must know something that I don't. There is no way that I can risk it.
“I fold” says Hades. There is a burst of loud incredulity at his words.
“You haven't played a single hand tonight Hades” says Anubis. “Not all of them can suck.” Hades looks back at his cards again, and shakes his head.
Every week the Society Involving Not Necessarily Evil Deities (SINNED) gathers for a poker game. The Society consists of Hades, Thanatos, Mephisto, Blackheart, Loki, Hela, Set, and Anubis. And every week they get into an argument about why Hades doesn't actually play any of his hands.
“Worry not Hades.” says Loki excitedly as he pours his arms over the table “More spoils of victory for me!”
What are these deities using for money you ask? A substance called Infragilisium, a substance that showed up right after the Lupus Gang showed up, and Lehethro expanded. It could only be found deep under ground, and was rare even for their respective underworlds. Only three had access to it, but they would sell it to the others. For a price.
“Hold Father.” says Hela “I hath four aces!”
Without skipping a beat Loki retorts.
“Worry not Hela, I hath five aces!”
“I'm afraid I have you both beat.” says Blackheart. “I have seven aces.”
“Alright stop!” shouts Hades. “First of all, Blackheart, you are only supposed to have five cards! Second of all, Charon.” Charon jumped a little after being addressed by Hades. He was their card dealer for the night. “You should probably stick to only using one deck of cards for these games.”
“I do, sir.” says Charon a little shakily.
“Anyone else have aces?” asks Hades angrily. Thanatos, Mephisto, Set, and Anubis all raise their hands. “DAMN IT! Can't we just play a friendly game without all of us trying to cheat one another?” Everyone looked doubtful.
“I think we need to play something else.” says Set.
“I think we should bet on things that are a little less in our control.” suggests Anubis. “Like a fight.”
“What kind of fight would be out of our control?” asks Thanatos.
“A deitic one of course.” says Hades smiling.
“Who could we get to fight?” asks Mephisto. “Personally I want to see someone try and take on that fool Odin.”
“And I wouldn't mind getting my dear brother Zeus to try and take on another powerful god.” says Hades.
“Methinks we hath our fight.” says Loki. “How’er doth we arrange this conflict a’now?”
“I think a better question,” says Hades. “Is where.”
“It looks to me like we have some messengers to capture.” says Mephisto.
Asgard: Odin's Throne Room:
“I see.” says Odin to Muninn, one of his ravens. “You hath my thanks for bringing this to mine attention. While’st tis good tidings that Loki hath not been seen for days, tis also most disconcerting. He is doubtlessly planning something most sinister.”
With that Muninn flies away. Odin breaths a sigh of relief, and at that moment Hermod bursts through the door.
“Lord Odin, I hath tidings most Grim!” Hermod shouts
“What hath thou to report? Tidings most ill from Frigga?” says Odin calmly.
“Nay Sire! It hath come to mine attention that the Greek god Zeus doth seek thy head!”
“We hath been allies with The Olympians for centuries a’now. Why would’st he choose to make war with Asgard?”
“Zeus doth not want war betwixt Asgard and Olympus Sire. Zeus hath challenged thee to honorable combat at the Chetradome. If Thou should’st refuse Zeus’ challenge, the insult will most assuredly bring war 'pon The Golden Realm.”
“Tis I who am insulted, this very challenge be an act of war!”
“T’would it not be best to face Zeus Sire? If thou should’st achieve victory war will be averted. For aside from Zeus there is none in Olympus that would’st dare to challenge thee.”
“Thy counsel is most wise good Hermod. I shall accept Zeus's challenge, but woe unto him. For the glaciers of Niflheim will’st turn to water, before Zeus e’re takes Asgard!”
Olympus: Zeus's Throne Room:
“Thou hath done well Hermes, though these tidings bode most ill.” says Zeus. “I accept Odin's challenge. Tomorrow we meet in combat!”
“Mallow?” the voice of Baric whispers through the darkness. “Mallow, are you awake?”
“I am now.” Mallow says, a little groggy. “What's up?” Mallow flicks his finger at the ceiling, and a light turns on to reveal an empty room.
“Over here” Baric says waving from inside Mallow's dresser mirror. “It's a little spell I know so that we can talk through the mirrors.”
“It's amazing.” says Mallow “It looks like your office and my bedroom are connected by this inconvenient hole in the wall. Baric laughed.
“I just wanted to tell you that there are going to be some extremely powerful guests coming to the Chetradome in a few minutes. So powerful in fact, that the Legion of Guardians might want to steer clear of them.”
“Oh my god, who?”
“Very close, but, gods are coming. Zeus and Odin are coming to fight at the Chetradome.”
“Why is it always the Chetradome?”
“I don't know, it must just be a very neutral place where there will be few casualties.”
“What about us?” Mallow asks a little annoyed.
“I'm sorry Mallow, they should be coming any minute. You might want to watch the fight, just so you can see what kind of powers there are in the universe, but steer clear like I said.”
“Ok, I'll tell the Legion of Guardians.” and he did.
It wasn't long after that Odin and Zeus touch down on the Chetradome floor. Many other gods and goddesses appear and take seats in the stands.
Odin and Zeus get into fighting positions. So Who Wins? The Pride of Olympus? Or the Father of Asgard?
Thor: Without hesitation, Zeus hurls a lightning bolt towards Odin with such force, the air pressure around it cracks the ground below.
Hercules: This isn't Odin's first fight, and quickly manipulates the ground below him to lift him high into the air.
Thor: Zeus's lighting bolt hits the pillar of earth below Odin and the pillar breaks apart.
Hercules: Odin drifts slowly down to earth again, standing on top of the left over dirt pile.
Thor: Odin pulls out Gungnir, his spear, and swings it through the air menacingly.
Hercules: Zeus ignores Odin's threat, and charges forward, lightning bolt in his hand.
Thor: Before Zeus can slash at Odin close range however, Odin turns quickly and disappears in thin air.
Hercules: Where do you suppose he went?
Thor: There in the sky.
Hercules: Odin reappeared in the sky above Zeus, and Zeus looks up to see.
Thor: Odin throws his spear downward at Zeus, and disappears again.
Hercules: Odin reappears behind Zeus, and manipulates the ground again. This time the ground under Zeus.
Thor: So as Gungnir falls from the sky towards Zeus, Zeus is also pushed upwards by Odin's new pillar of earth.
Hercules: I think Odin seems to forget that Zeus has much more power in the sky than on earth, it is his domain after all.
Thor: Before the spear can hit Zeus, there is a humongous torrent of wind, the pillar of earth is turned to dust, and Zeus begins to fall.
Hercules: Because the spear was thrown by Odin, it's decent is greater than Zeus's, and it is gaining fast.
Thor: Zeus lands, then hastily tries to step out of the spears way. Zeus must not know that Gungnir always hits it's target.
Hercules: The spear changes it's trajectory, and aims at Zeus's new position.
Thor: Quicker than lightning, Zeus take to the air again, riding on a gust of wind, and the spear following his path, getting closer now.
Hercules: It seems at this point their positions have changed, and Zeus is above the spear now, both of them going up.
Thor: The air below Zeus ripples violently as he uses his wind powers to slow Gungnir's pursuit.
Hercules: As the spear begins to slow to a crawl, so does Zeus, and he allows it to hit him softly on the foot.
Thor: Brilliant! As long as Gungnir gets to hit it's target, it's happy. Zeus is a clever being indeed to figure it out so quickly.
Hercules: The spear begins to fall to the ground, and Zeus rockets past it, fist outstretched toward Odin, who was waiting for his spear to hit him.
Thor: With a tremendous thud, Zeus crashes to the ground, but Odin teleported out of the way just in time.
Hercules: Zeus turns to him, and tries to throw a punch.
Thor: Interesting strategy, but Odin is no push over when it comes to hand-to-hand combat.
Hercules: Zeus knows that, I wonder what he's up to.
Thor: Again and again Zeus throws a punch, and again and again Odin teleports out of the way.
Hercules: Then after throwing a particularly wide one, Zeus shakes it up a bit by raising his arms, causing lighting to rain from the sky.
Thor: Even the speed of lightning isn't enough to hit Odin, who at this point is just trying not to get hit.
Hercules: Lightning continues to pour from the sky, even as Zeus puts his arms down. His eyes darting quickly to the spots that Odin teleports as he dodges the lightning.
Thor: Zeus raises his arms again, and two sections of stands lift into the air. That's right, sections, almost a million pounds, hovering over Odin, who is still trying to dodge the lightning.
Hercules: Zeus raises his hands even higher, and slams then down to waist level.
Thor: As he does this, the sections of stands fall brutally onto Odin.
Hercules: Surely that wont be enough to defeat him.
Thor: This might.
Hercules: Zeus, yet again raises his hands high into the air, and plunges them downward again.
Thor: This time, thousands, maybe hundreds of thousands of close knit lightning bolts tear through the air at the spot Odin was last seen under the ruble.
Hercules: The lightning cuts through the concrete as if it were butter, slicing a hole, disintegrating every bit it touches.
Thor: Even through the lightning, you can hear Odin's yell of pain, and Zeus stops the lightning.
Hercules: Zeus just stands, glaring at the hole the lightning left in the concrete, the hole he knows Odin to be laying.
Zeus: I have foreseen my victory Odin. It's best you admit defeat now, before things get ugly.
Odin: Should it have been any other foe, I would never give up. Know this Zeus: You may be able to defeat me, but the armies of Asgard are more than a match for the armies of Olympus.
Zeus: You wanted a challenge, and I have given it to you. There is no need for war.
Odin: Maybe I heard you incorrectly Zeus, but did you say that it was I who challenged you?
Thor: And while they figure out the reason for their fight, it is time for us to wrap up.
Hercules: Well you heard it, Odin gave up.
Thor: Yes he did, though it should be noted, he gave up to avoid further destruction to the world. As a war between Asgard and Olympus surely would not leave earth in good condition.
Hercules: Yes...I'm sure that was the reason. Not the fact that Zeus was kicking his butt.
Thor: For whatever the reason, Zeus has won.
Zeus defeats Odin 18 votes to 10
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